“Trust your gut, listen to your heart, and speak your truth.” -Eliza Reynolds
Director, Girls in the Know
Mothering (mother-er-ing); n. Raising your daughter to become herself.
Daughtering (daught-er-ing); n. Staying real with your mom.
“The most powerful part of the key note presentation I took away is the concept of Daughtering. Eliza did a good job of making it a role that daughters can choose to take to be active in their relationship with their mothers/parents. It can be typical for mother-daughter role to get into a pattern and daughters can “tune” the parents out. This concept establishes a framework that allows the daughters to take responsibility for their part in the relationship. I believe this will foster empowerment and good communication skills in all areas of their life. It also allows the mothers to invite the daughters to have an active role in the relationship.” -Julie Walther Scheibel, MEd., LPC
“After spending the week reading Mothering and Daughtering by Sil and Eliza Reynolds I had the amazing opportunity to meet them both and talk with them about my impressions of the book and their work. Sitting with Eliza (after she hugs me) as she engaged a few of the young girls who came with their moms at breakfast she easily answered questions and when I asked her about my own mothering-daughtering relationship she had this advice, “What matters comes from your heart. Own the things that make you YOU and choose love and relationships.” And that was before the Reynolds took the stage! While Eliza defines daughtering as a verb, urging girls to become and remain active in their relationship with their moms, Sil speaks to creating our “tribe” of extended parenting and to accept our perfectly imperfect selves. As I hear this, I breathe a sigh of relief. All the pressure to be the “perfect” mom flies out the door. Reading the book suggests that we trust our intuition as moms and Sil and Eliza elaborate on this idea. Sil encourages moms and daughters to “trust your gut, cultivate and honor it”. Eliza agrees saying that, “there is KNOWING that lives in our body. Wisdom lives inside.” And the Reynolds write and speak about keeping communication open-they talk about the two-way street of trusting and talking face to face. It may sound odd, but since reading the book and listening to their experiences, I have reframed how I am thinking and communicating with my sixteen year old daughter. It will be a life-long journey, however, Sil and Eliza tell me it’s never too late to improve on communication skills and that if my daughter is “thriving”, I am indeed mothering in a way that she is responding. Now. I have to trust myself and trust in that mothering.” -Pam Wilson
Girls in the Know Social Media:
Facebook, click HERE
Twitter, click HERE
Instagram, click HERE
Check out the Media Buzz:
Aisha Sultan-St. Louis Post Dispatch, click HERE
Emily Rau-KMOV, click HERE
Show Me STL, click HERE
Soul School (1/10/16 segment), click HERE
STL Parent, click HERE
St. Louis Magazine, click HERE
Webster-Kirkwood Times, click HERE
West Newsmagazine, click HERE
Jen Myers-Y98, click HERE
Special Thanks to Monica Hans for hosting the Welcome Reception for Sil & Eliza!
Special Thanks to Maryville University for hosting the Trusted Adult & Pre-Teen Girl Weekend Workshop Retreat
Aisha Sultan for attending and writing about her experience, click HERE to read the article and Sarah Howell of Sarah E Studios for attending and capturing memories of a lifetime for 20 lucky trusted adults and pre-teen girls!
Special Thanks to EILEEN FISHER, Plaza Frontenac for hosting the Book Reading & Signing Party
and Holland Salsman of the Novel Neighbor, our event bookseller for Incredible afternoon and delicious treats were on hand for an intimate gathering at EILEEN FISHER!
About EILEEN FISHER
EILEEN FISHER has been creating effortlessly chic clothes for the past 30 years. Designed with pure shapes and fine fabrics, the collections offer sophistication, comfort, and style that lasts. As a socially conscious company, EILEEN FISHER is a pioneer in eco-friendly fashion and in supporting global initiatives that empower women and girls. The clothing is sold at more that 60 EILEEN FISHER retail stores in the US, as well as at major department stores and eileenfisher.com.
About Sil & Eliza:
Sil and Eliza Reynolds are a mother and daughter team whose workshops and writings teach mothers and daughters how to strengthen their bond through the adolescent years. As a nurse practitioner and psychotherapist in private practice in New York’s Hudson Valley, Sil specializes in family medicine, women’s health and eating disorders for over 30 years. She is a graduate of Brown University. Eliza is an author, dancer, speaker, workshop leader and professional big sister. She is also a graduate of Brown University where she focused on Women’s Studies and researched adolescent girls’ preoccupation with body image. Together, Sil and Eliza have held numerous, highly regarded workshops across the US that explore the mother-daughter dynamic, including the Omega Institute in New York, which is the nation’s most trusted source for wellness and personal growth.
About Their Book:
Together, Sil and Eliza have co-authored the bestseller Mothering & Daughtering: Keeping Your Bond Strong Through the Teen Years, which is really two breakthrough guides in one! Sil addresses the central task of stopping the cycle of separation and anxiety that plagues so many, drawing on her clinical expertise to nurture the skills of listening, boundary setting, mirroring, containing, and more. Turn the book over, and Eliza shares empowering advice to teens looking to keep it real with Mom while also finding strength in their own intuition, friendships, and dreams.
Their book was created to help you find and protect the unique treasure that is your relationship. Packed with practical exercises, activities, and lifesaving insights gleaned from Sil and Eliza’s workshops, Mothering and Daughtering explores these essential topics and more:
- Your best friend known as your intuition
- Navigating the treacherous territories of comparison, performance, and perfectionism
- Dispelling the rejection myth
- Sex, positive discipline, and how to prevent a technological take-over
- Winning the body love battle
- Healing your emotional legacy
- Humor, truth, trust, and love—instead of trying to be perfect
- Repairing ruptures and getting to the bottom of misunderstandings
- Locating your fundamental bond that always connects you beneath your daily squabbles
Excerpt from book:
“I suggest that we mothers cut ourselves some slack and apply that notion to mothering in adolescence, so that it might teach us the necessity of not being perfect. The messy reality of our imperfect life—and, yes, of our imperfect mothering—is actually necessary for our daughters’ healthy growth. For example, admitting our mistakes to our daughter teaches her about the courage it takes to be vulnerable, how to live with integrity, and the idea that feeling humility is a mature accomplishment. In fact, if a mother does not admit her mistake and her daughter sees it (and what daughter does not see most of our mistakes), then that mother is not teaching her daughter to trust what she sees. ‘Fessing up’ to our daughter is a form of mirroring her—and since she is likely to have seen our mistake anyway, we are giving her the gift of a reality check. Luckily, nobody’s perfect. Or as my own teenage oracle once worked it out: we are all perfectly imperfect,” says Sil.
Sil and Eliza Reynolds have designed a set of tools to assist you in nurturing that bond. If you’re locked in a clash of wills or fear the prospect of getting into one, with Mothering and Daughtering you can learn how to build the foundation for a deep and lasting relationship that is a source of support, joy, and love throughout your lives.
“No one, nowhere, connects just like you,” write Sil and Eliza. Whether you are already thriving in your relationship or merely surviving, Mothering and Daughtering is an indispensable resource to honor and strengthen that one-of-a-kind connection through the years ahead. Their book is a must-read for moms and their pre-teen/teen daughters, and their hands-on workshop retreat offered in St. Louis takes their message to a whole new level!
You are one click away from learning how to thrive—not just survive—the challenging teen years. Space is limited for the workshop retreat, so reserve your spot today!
For more info and to get your tickets, CLICK HERE or contact Gina Marten, 314-717-1270, email@example.com. Sign up for the early bird special (before December 31, 2015)—Keynote tickets are $30 for adults, $25 for daughters, Mother-Daughter Workshop Retreat tickets are $150/per person (includes Keynote, VIP Reception and autographed book).
Read what people are saying about their book….
“If these challenges [between mother and daughter] are a generational thing, Sil has surely broken the pattern with her own daughter.”
Actor and Author of My Life So Far
“Mothering and Daughtering has been deeply meaningful to us. Sil and Eliza have given us practical tools and wisdom that transformed our relationship and deepened our bond during the challenging teenage years. This beautifully written book is fresh with creative ideas and is a gift to all mothers and their teenage daughters.”
Eileen Fisher and Sasha Fisher-Zweibel
What you hold in your hands is more than a book–it’s a lifeline to mothers and daughters who want to move through the teen years with a real, loving, and lasting relationship. Both Sil and Eliza believe that as girls grow away from childhood and toward adulthood, they actually want and need to stay close to their mothers; and that mothers also want and need closeness, even as they help their girls find their own voice and spread their wings. In this guidebook for a new kind of mother-daughter relationship, Sil and Eliza challenge the stereotype of the broken bond between mother and daughter. They provide inspiration and tools honed from their own experience and from the hundreds of moms and girls they have helped in their workshops. If you are a mother or a daughter who wants to navigate the teen years side-by-side, please read this book. ”
Cofounder, Omega Institute and author of Broken Open
“What Sil and Eliza Reynolds teach mothers and their teenage daughters is profound, essential and revolutionary.”
# 1 New York Times bestselling author of Women, Food and God
“In this powerful book, Eliza and Sil Reynolds offer mothers and daughters the only kind of wisdom really worth giving–a reminder that the big secret to a resilient bond is nothing less than love. Their voices intermingle authentically and eloquently, a model for us all of shared, intergenerational leadership and the power of courageous communication.””
Courtney E. Martin
Author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters and Do It Anyway
“Mother-daughter conflict during the teen years is neither inevitable or healthy. There’s another way. Read this book and learn how to keep your mother-daughter bond strong and healthy for a lifetime.”
author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom and Mother-Daughter Wisdom
“Mothering & Daughtering is a gem, a precious insight into the growth of mothers and daughters, and into the honesty and cherishing of each other.”
Jungian analyst and author of Addiction to Perfection
“What I love most about this book is how honest and down-to-earth Sil and Eliza are about themselves and their relationship. Girls and their moms will find comfort and companionship from two people who have themselves struggled — and who offer strategies and wisdom that will help all of us become more aware, authentic mothers and daughters.”
author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl
This book is a precious gem that I wish had been around for my daughters’ adolescence. Sil and Eliza give a timeless gift to mothers and daughters to help them deepen their love and understanding of each other before, during, and after adolescence. Moms who dread the thought of raising their daughters in their teen years will value this lifesaver of practical wisdom. Daughters who are in the midst of figuring out who they are separate from their mothers will appreciate Eliza’s advice on how to have a supportive relationship with their mothers without constant fighting. Even though my daughters are now wonderful women, I want to share this book with them and look forward to the conversations and new understandings that this book encourages.”
editor New Moon Girls Magazine
Thank you to Express Scripts for their generous donation to sponsor the students at Earl Nance Sr. Elementary School. Express Scripts, headquartered in St. Louis, puts medicine within reach of tens of millions of people by aligning with plan sponsors, taking bold action and delivering patient-centered care to make better health more affordable and accessible.
Event proceeds benefit the GITK outreach scholarship programming. For more information about our scholarships please contact firstname.lastname@example.org or call 314-717-1270.